Day 1

Monday, March 12th. Today started out sucky for me. I went to bed late the night before and slept-in Monday morning. I was sooo tired. It must have been from all of the deserts I ate last night knowing I would be forbidden to eat ever again. So, after sending the kids off to school I ran back to my bed and stayed there till probably 12:oo in the afternoon. I couldn't believe how zonked I was.

2:00 pm I drank a Kombucha drink for 'breakfast' and felt great! I just love those drinks.

Around 4:00 I ate an Oskri Coconut Barfor lunch. Yum!

I was doing great! I walked my dog for 1/2 hour for a little exercise, started to make my family dinner (broiled pork chops, stir fried green beans, saffron flavored rice, cooked corn), my plan was to have just a salad for dinner. Well, there was an extra pork chop, my daughter made fudgey brownies for her first time. I gave in and decided to eat what the family was eating and have desert too.

I get weak during dinner time. I do soooo well during the day, then at dinner, I lose it.

Why am I making such a big deal about this. Well for starters, I am addicted to treats. I love them. I usually don't eat them within moderation. My brownie desert tonight turned into a brownie sundae. And then I had seconds after everyone went to bed. I figured, "why not, I have all ready messed up my schedule for the day, I will just eat what I want and start again tomorrow." This gets me every time. I have made that statement to myself at least 100 times. That is why I am trying to MAKE CHANGE.

I can't just expect change because I have come up with a wonderful plan, or because I am trying something new. Change won't just appear because I am going to the gym, or because I have better self esteem. I have to MAKE CHANGE. I have to remind myself everyday, that change is hard work. Change does not come easy, and change does not happen just because 'I want it to'. I have to work at it everyday and make it happen.

Today, I could have made change and enjoyed my yummy salad, (I make great salads), but I didn't. There is no, 'tomorrow will be different for me anymore'. Right now, I will make change. Today wasn't perfect, but right now I will make change. I am changing the way I am thinking and feeling. When I wake in the morning, I will keep making change.

Maybe, tomorrow before dinner, I will drink lots of water, and be happy about my new plans. Maybe I will make my salad ahead of time and have it ready when everything else is set on the table and ready to eat. Change is good.

:)